sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
