Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
