he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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