I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
