The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
