apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
