I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
