p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
