Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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