I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
