i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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