this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
is it fun? or sober?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
