it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
