Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
