we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
