I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
