You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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