It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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