Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize