i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
