when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize