My underwear smells like fireworks.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
