i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
