now i know why i became what i already was.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
