So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he thought i was a dude.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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