Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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