fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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