they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
