the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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