Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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