thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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