I looked at my own cervix.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
