i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
