Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
