I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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