Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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