i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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