NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
