Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
