Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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