Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
