you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
