then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I love having hate sex.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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