I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
