I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
