i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
