I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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