i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
