1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize