So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am one with the molecules
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
