How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
