so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
