I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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