saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
