I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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