My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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