You're completely useless in the revolution.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
